Are you excited for Christmas? Oh no, it's a tumor

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“Playing DS in Public” by Alexandra Dal.

This is pretty much me. Outside, I’m keeping it low key like the boss of all bosses you all know me to be, but in my head, whenever I beat a particularly difficult opponent or stage, it is like the god damn “Make’em Say Ugh” video — I’m riding on a golden tank in a packed basketball arena, slam dunking over fools in a gorilla suit, rappin’ with pre-jail Mystikal while Shaquille O’Neal watches from the crowd clutching a “No Limit Soldiers” shirt.

In my head, I’m living that American Dream we all woke up from after graduating high school, the sleeping fantasy that faded as the grief and brutality of the real world crept into our lives. What happened to those promises? Of family and comfort? Of coming out on top after working your ass off for years and saving money for a better future? Where are our Silkk the Shocker basketball jerseys?

Buy: Pokemon Black/White games and DSi bundles

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See also: More Pokemon posts

[Via Alexandra Dal]