Are you excited for Christmas? Oh no, it's a tumor

gottacatchemall: I was always called an HM slave by master.  I didn’t quite get what that had meant, but I knew master loved me.  I always did my job of cutting, moving, and surfing for my master.My master reached a new city and entered the gym that was located there.  The battle was fierce; I could see that master was having a hard time.  My master was just down to two pokemon: myself and his first pokemon Grotle.  I wanted to help him, I wanted him to send me out.  He returned Grotle after taking a direct hit, and he sent me out.  It was my first battle and I wanted to impress my master.  I waited for his orders, but I didn’t hear anything.  I turned around and I saw him healing Grotle with a super potion.  He didn’t pay any attention to me and I didn’t notice the razor leaf heading straight for my face.I blacked out.  I woke up to see that my master had won his badge.  He was praising his other pokemon for a job well done, except for me.  It almost seemed like my job was just to take a hit.  But master wouldn’t be that cruel. [Bidoof, Text] It didn’t have to be this way if HM moves weren’t so shithouse. 

gottacatchemall:

I was always called an HM slave by master.  I didn’t quite get what that had meant, but I knew master loved me.  I always did my job of cutting, moving, and surfing for my master.

My master reached a new city and entered the gym that was located there.  The battle was fierce; I could see that master was having a hard time.  My master was just down to two pokemon: myself and his first pokemon Grotle.  I wanted to help him, I wanted him to send me out. 

He returned Grotle after taking a direct hit, and he sent me out.  It was my first battle and I wanted to impress my master.  I waited for his orders, but I didn’t hear anything.  I turned around and I saw him healing Grotle with a super potion.  He didn’t pay any attention to me and I didn’t notice the razor leaf heading straight for my face.

I blacked out.  I woke up to see that my master had won his badge.  He was praising his other pokemon for a job well done, except for me. 

It almost seemed like my job was just to take a hit.  But master wouldn’t be that cruel.

[Bidoof, Text]

It didn’t have to be this way if HM moves weren’t so shithouse. 

tinycartridge: “Playing DS in Public” by Alexandra Dal. This is pretty much me. Outside, I’m keeping it low key like the boss of all bosses you all know me to be, but in my head, whenever I beat a particularly difficult opponent or stage, it is like the god damn “Make’em Say Ugh” video — I’m riding on a golden tank in a packed basketball arena, slam dunking over fools in a gorilla suit, rappin’ with pre-jail Mystikal while Shaquille O’Neal watches from the crowd clutching a “No Limit Soldiers” shirt. In my head, I’m living that American Dream we all woke up from after graduating high school, the sleeping fantasy that faded as the grief and brutality of the real world crept into our lives. What happened to those promises? Of family and comfort? Of coming out on top after working your ass off for years and saving money for a better future? Where are our Silkk the Shocker basketball jerseys? Buy: Pokemon Black/White games and DSi bundles Find: Nintendo DS/3DS release dates, discounts, & more See also: More Pokemon posts [Via Alexandra Dal]

tinycartridge:

“Playing DS in Public” by Alexandra Dal.

This is pretty much me. Outside, I’m keeping it low key like the boss of all bosses you all know me to be, but in my head, whenever I beat a particularly difficult opponent or stage, it is like the god damn “Make’em Say Ugh” video — I’m riding on a golden tank in a packed basketball arena, slam dunking over fools in a gorilla suit, rappin’ with pre-jail Mystikal while Shaquille O’Neal watches from the crowd clutching a “No Limit Soldiers” shirt.

In my head, I’m living that American Dream we all woke up from after graduating high school, the sleeping fantasy that faded as the grief and brutality of the real world crept into our lives. What happened to those promises? Of family and comfort? Of coming out on top after working your ass off for years and saving money for a better future? Where are our Silkk the Shocker basketball jerseys?

Buy: Pokemon Black/White games and DSi bundles

Find: Nintendo DS/3DS release dates, discounts, & more

See also: More Pokemon posts

[Via Alexandra Dal]